Make Yourself
by Claret Stasis
Summary: Rated T for safety. What if Lupin hadn't become friends with the Marauders at first? Who would help him with everything? He finds his comfort in someone who has stuck with him and that he has begun to like more than expected...Oneshot.


Make Yourself—A Remus Lupin One-shot

(inspired by Drive and "The Worst Year Yet" by rekahneko…or at least the first two chapters. I couldn't take the Remus torture in the third chapter, so I stopped reading. Will I continue someday? Maybe. I dunno.)

Disclaimer: Do I really need one? Seriously, it's pretty obvious I'm not JKR, so what's the point?

* * *

Remus Lupin was not a universally liked person. To be perfectly honest, he had a total of "one" friend, and his roommates were not very nice people. Since he spent a lot of time in the library, he was acknowledged by many people as a "nerd", or a "swot". As smart as he was, he had no idea what a swot was, but it must be bad since whenever he was referred to as one, everyone around him sniggered. His parents didn't want anyone at Hogwarts to know what Remus was, and with good reason. Remus didn't want anyone to know either. He didn't want to be ridiculed any more than he already was. Although he came off as cold towards everyone because of the fact that he didn't want to become close to anyone, there was one person who insisted that he only needed someone to cheer him up every so once in a while. 

Her name was Evryss Talia Renae Orcois. With her shining silver hair (that made her look more mature, but at the same time not old, as one would think of someone gifted with silver hair), charming (yet vaguely strange) personality, fantastic looks, and gracefulness, Evryss could easily be every bit as popular as his roommates were. Yet she decided to forgo the fact that she could be friends with the coolest people in the fifth year and hung out with Remus. He had no words to express how thankful he was towards her that she had been his friend since the train ride to Hogwarts in their first year.

Three years ago, Evryss had realized why Remus had to bury all four of his grandparents on a full moon in the span of less than two months. It was too bad that he couldn't come up with better excuses for disappearing, she had told him, smiling. In two years, she had become an animagus in order to help him. In the spring of their fourth year, she had come bounding up to the boy's dormitories, grinning like a fool. Thankfully, no one else had been in the dorm at the time. She told him two things: one was that she was getting a guitar over the summer so she didn't have to practice with her friend's anymore and she could bring it to Hogwarts so he could hear her play. The other was that she'd finally figured it out. On the next full moon, the wolf wasn't the only animal in the shrieking shack. Another wolf, shining, pure silver, who seemed to be crafted of the moonlight itself, joined him.

From that full moon on, Remus wasn't the only one covered in scratches and bruises the next day. And from that full moon on, no one seemed to like Evryss quite as much, because from then on she only left Remus's side when they had to go to bed, and yet only Remus knew that she was with him until they both went to bed.

The longer she was with him, the more she talked to him, made him feel better about himself, made him feel like there was nothing wrong with him (which, she kept insisting, there wasn't), and most of all, made him happy about the fact that he _had a friend_. Every night she would leave the dorms before his three roommates came up to fall asleep, so they never knew about the fact that Remus had been talking to anyone late into the night. He had once asked her why she chose a wolf as her Animagus form, when she could have been anything. Evryss had simply smiled and told him that she didn't want him to be the only wolf in Hogwarts, to which he had laughed and they resumed talking about nothing in particular.

But on this day, Christmas of Remus's fifth year at Hogwarts, Evryss came bounding up the stairs, her present in tow, and jumped onto Remus's bed, effectively waking his three roommates up as well as him. His roommates, unbeknownst to Evryss and Remus, stayed silent and unmoving in their beds. For a long time they'd thought that Remus was unnaturally happy for being the butt of a lot of their pranks. Now, they thought, they would find out why.

"Merry Christmas, Remus," she whispered happily. "How are you on this fine, snow-covered morning?"

Remus rubbed his eyes and yawned, then pulled his covers up to his nose. "Cold," he replied, "and sleepy. What time is it, Evryss?"

Evryss giggled and brushed a lock of her silver hair behind an ear, then looked at him quite seriously. "You know, around then."

"_When,_ Evryss?" He asked, slightly irritated now that she was avoiding his question. Last year she had woken him up at three in the morning by holding his nose shut until he jumped up. He pulled the covers off of him and sat up cross-legged across from where she was on the bed doing the same.

"It's nine, Remus, relax," she said, beaming again.

At this moment in time, only one of Remus's roommates was awake enough to think clearly. "_Evryss?_" James Potter thought, "_Evryss Orcois? Why is she _here_? Why is she talking to the swot? Just because she spends a lot of time with him didn't mean that she has to spend _now_ with him too. Why wasn't she with her other friends…_" James thought about it some more. Come to think about it, he'd never seen Evryss with anyone but that nerd in the only bed that didn't belong to one of his friends. Didn't she have any other friends?

"Here, Remus, it's my present to you!" she held out a VERY large bag out to him. He opened it without the slightest bit of hesitation.

"Wow, that's a lot of chocolate."

"Well, it was either this or a chew toy, and you know I'm not that mean!"

"Thankfully," Remus muttered under his breath. "I wonder what I got from my parents." There seemed to be no hesitation as he opened his second present as well. Consistently, Remus and Evryss had gotten two presents each. One from the other and one from their respective parents. He pulled out a large book that was covered in black leather but bore no name or author.

"Hey, I know what that is!" Evryss whispered excitedly, "I have the same thing! It's a book of Muggle fairy tales! The original ones, not that Disneyfied stuff." She beamed at him again, then adopted a slightly sad smile that was rarely seen on her face. Actually, Remus was almost positive that he was the only person who had ever seen that look coming from her before. "You must have really nice parents. I had to steal that from my father's library a year ago. It's in my trunk right now."

"Come on," Remus smiled, trying to get her to do the same, "Open the present from your parents. They may not like you, but at least their presents are always decent!" She opened it slowly then looked at it in awe, holding it up in reverence. "What is it?" Remus asked.

"It's an iPod," Evryss said, still staring at it. "And Mum says she put all of my CDs on it. This means you can listen to my CDs now without me dragging all the copies I made of them over here along with my Walkman!" Her voice sounded broken now. "I hope Mum really wanted me to have this, because I'm not giving it back when she asks me to like with all of my other presents from them!" She laughed nervously.

Now, another one of the Marauders was able to think coherently. Peter Pettigrew wondered when Evryss (he recognized the voice; it wasn't that hard) had ever dragged all of her CDs over to this dorm, much less what a Walkman was or when she had ever been in this dorm in the first place. It wasn't just that, though. Since when did _anyone's_ parents try to take back Christmas presents from their kids? Much less Evryss', since she was always happy and such. She'd sounded sad earlier. What was with that?

Once again, Evryss was smiling. Remus, however, was smiling larger, a feat to be admired since Evryss' smile was as large as she could possibly make it. Then, Remus spoke.

"Here Evryss," he whispered, holding out a small jade green box out to her. There was a sharp intake of breath as she opened the box and stared at its contents.

"Remus," she breathed, "It's beautiful! Where did you find it?"

"At a Muggle store during the summer. I thought you'd like it, so…"

"I'll put it on right now!" There was a small fumbling sound and then she sighed. "It even feels right, Remus." There was a small thump as she hugged him so hard they fell back onto the bed. In a playful mood, Remus flipped them over and she giggled, still hugging him tightly. They played like this a lot whenever Remus's roommates were out, or when they were in the Shrieking Shack. It seemed like nothing to them since they were so close, but to others it may look like something completely different.

Finally, the third Marauder was thinking straight, and now he wanted to know who the _bloody hell_ _woke him up_. He stood up, strode over to the fourth bed in the room, and pulled the curtains open.

What Sirius Black saw shocked him greatly. He saw what was arguably the prettiest girl in his year lying underneath who was undoubtedly the nerdiest boy Hogwarts had ever seen, and she was giggling as she pulled him into a hug.

"So, _Lupin_," he said coldly, "when exactly were you going to tell us that you were with Evryss Orcois, huh?"

The two jumped off of each other with the gracefulness of a couple of drunks; they kept getting caught in the tangled covers and in the end, Evryss fell off the bed.

"I'm good," she muttered before pulling herself back up into a sitting position on Lupin's bed. "So then Black," she continued, "what made you feel like being even more of a dick than usual this fine Christmas morning?"

"A couple of idiots giggling at God knows what hour in the morning," he replied.

Evryss laughed, a false laugh that echoed throughout the room and sent shivers down Remus's spine. It was scary to hear her laugh with no emotion. Normally she didn't, but on the other hand this wasn't a normal day. Not only was it Christmas, but it happened to be a full moon. Remus cursed his luck that it had to be on _Christmas_, of all days. Suddenly, she began to talk.

"Not only is it nine-fifteen and well past time for you to be awake, but Remus and I were just about to go downstairs." She stood up and pulled Remus to his feet as well. "Come on, it's Christmas, let's just give ourselves a present and not deal with these morons today."

Remus nodded dumbly. He wasn't sure when he would get used to Evryss telling off his roommates like that, but normally she only did it during class, not any other time. He followed her out of the room and down into the Common Room, where a fire was dancing merrily and a guitar case was on the chair nearest to the fire. She walked over to the case and picked it up then motioned to the chair. "Go ahead and sit, Remus," she said, smiling, then pulled up a wooden stool for herself. Remus felt as if he was in a daze; he didn't even remember sitting down, and all he could think was that his roommates knew now that Evryss had been in his bed and that they were better friends than they let on. Not that they were going out or anything. Not that Remus didn't wish that they were. Evryss seemed always to be acting as though she had a crush on him, which led him to think that maybe he had one on her. Over the last year, he realized that he really did, since she was the first (and only, at this point) person to accept him for who he is and even tried constantly to make him feel better about himself. The first chord struck on the guitar that now rested on Evryss' lap brought him out of his daze.

"Nice to know you were listening, Remus," Evryss laughed, her eyes full of mirth. "Anyway, no one's ever heard me play this song before as far as I know, so feel honored."

And then she started to play.

The lyrics seemed to drive themselves into Remus's brain. They were about becoming… they were about making himself what he wanted to be. To take hold of his own life and go with what he wants to do and to face the next day happy and alive, ready for what may come.

_Would you choose water over wine…Hold the wheel and drive._

She was telling him to be who he was, not who other people wanted him to be. She was saying that it was okay that he was that nerd that everyone else called him, because at least that nerd was himself…wasn't it? Often he'd found his roommates funny…Well, when the one they were pranking wasn't him, anyway. If he was himself…People would find out about him. Would that be a bad thing? Of course it would. Not everyone would be like Evryss, he reminded himself.

The Marauders were at the top of the stairs, and yet they could hear everything from the Common Room perfectly. They could hear Evryss singing, and the lyrics made them realize something. No, wait, no they didn't. Why was she singing, again?

The song ended and she put her guitar back into the case and closed it. Remus still looked dazed, though, and she was beginning to get worried. She waved her hand in front of his face and smiled. "Helllllu? Earth to Remus? We should go get breakfast before the Moron Squadron you have the most unfortunate luck to sleep in the same room as get there first and find some way to poison our food before we get down there." That seemed to wake Remus up, and he sighed.

"Lets' go," he said before standing up and pulling Evryss out of the portrait hole with him.

At this point in time, it was much later than curfew. Not that it mattered much because the only prefect left in Hogwarts over these holidays was Remus, so Evryss wouldn't get in trouble for being out late unless they were caught by Filch. As soon as the two were far enough towards the Whomping Willow, Evryss transformed into the silver wolf as a precaution, and just in time. Ten seconds later, Remus was transforming, and she was nuzzling him softly so he'd have something to distract him from the intense pain. As soon as it was done, she jumped playfully and started running towards the hole over which the Whomping Willow was planted. As the eager male wolf followed joyfully, he noticed something that couldn't help but catch his attention. Something abnormal. It'd certainly never been around before. Wolf-Remus was curious…he wanted to find this… It smelled familiar, but he couldn't remember it at the moment.

Wolf-Evryss smelled it as well, but she recognized it. She bounded back towards Wolf-Remus and nuzzled him again, but he simply ignored it and stared towards the smell. Yes, that smell…Human flesh, or rather hair product that their acute senses could pick up over a mile away…

Damn Sirius Black for caring so much about his hair.

Evryss bounded over to where she suspected the smell was from and began to attempt to motion them back towards the castle. However, Remus, realizing that if Evryss was over where he thought something was, then there must be something there, began to bound towards them as well. Something he could _bite…_

Something very strange happened then. Something that had never happened before to him that he could remember in that form. The silver wolf…Evryss… turned towards him and growled fiercely, as if she was trying to drive him away. His Christmas present to her glinted in the moonlight, and he, surprisingly, shrunk back a bit. Then, when she came and nuzzled him again, he followed her obediently to the hole beneath the Whomping Willow and disappeared.

Evryss couldn't help but wonder what had just happened. Wolf-Remus had just followed her. That couldn't be normal. Wasn't he supposed to be vicious and bloodthirsty and such when he was a wolf? Then why…? Was his human form finally getting through to his wolf form? Perhaps…but that didn't answer why he had followed her as if he… as if he would like to do nothing better. Hmmmmm…

Within hours, Remus turned back, shivering, and looked over at Evryss, who was still in wolf form. Moments later, Evryss turned back and stared at him incredulously. Suddenly he remembered where he'd smelled that scent before.

Weakly attempting to start a conversation, he said quietly, "Black uses the same hair products you do, Evryss."

Evryss' jaw dropped open. "YOU…you followed me… in wolf form…You've never done that, at least not like that…Before you just chased me when I nudged you away from humans, but then… you were walking, you were…quiet about it, I suppose…"

"Evryss? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine—Did you say that Black uses the same hair products that I do?"

"Umm… Yes?"

"Remus, you're insane, you'd only know that if you paid lots of attention to me whenever I'm around you, which is a lot. Come on, we've both got a couple of nasty scratches, now let's just clean these up before tomorrow when we head to the hospital wing so Madam Pomfrey can clean them up…" She pulled out gauze, band-aids, and bottled water from a chest in the corner of the room. It was then, in that moment, with a sliver of late moonlight streaming through a crack in the boards in the window shining in her hair, that Remus realized something important about his best friend.

"You'rereallypretty!!" He blurted out before he could stop himself.

Evryss grabbed the items, stood up, and began to walk over towards Remus. "Thanks Remus, but we really should get-you-cleaned…" Evryss flushed a quite nice pale rose colour. "Did you just say I was pretty?"

Remus blushed lightly and looked down as well. Evryss dropped what she was holding and walked calmly over to Remus, leaning over him, her hand on his forehead and her face dangerously close to his. "Are you sick or something?" she said quietly, still blushing. "I mean to say, are you feeling alright?"

Remus tilted his head up and kissed Evryss lightly on the lips. She pulled away from him quickly, sat down on a bed, and proceeded to look immensely dazed. Seconds later, what Remus had just done hit him hard in the gut. "I-I'm s-sorry!!" he stammered, "I d-don't know what came over me, and—" Evryss cut him off with one quiet statement.

"Remus, why did you do that?"

CRAP! There he went; he just ruined the relationship with the only friend he had.

"Truthfully?" he asked, before continuing as fast as humanly possible, "IthinkIreallylikeyou!!"

She blinked. "Ah," she breathed. "My father's going to kill you when he finds out, Remus."

Now Remus was confused. Was she mad? Why was she bringing up her father? Was _she_ the one not feeling alright? Was—

Remus's thoughts were cut off by the sudden appearance of Evryss in front of him. She seemed to be connected to him somehow. Remus tried to breathe in, and then he realized.

"_Oh,_" he thought almost lamely, "_she's kissing me._"

Two seconds later she pulled away, blushing heavily.

"I'm not mad," she said, attempting a smile, "And I suppose my father's going to kill me, too, now."

"So you're actually okay with this?" he asked. When she nodded, he let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "Does this mean Black was right?"

She wrinkled her nose, holding her Christmas present from Remus tightly in her hand. "Black is _never _right," she said. "We weren't together when he said that."

She looked down at her present, a small silver locket. It was a Celtic knot with a wolf's head coming out of the front. When the locked was opened, on one side was a picture of Evryss and Remus that was taken in their third year where they were hugging. It was one of the only pictures that Remus's mom had ever taken of the two, and it was the only one where the two moving people were smiling beautifully, eyes wide open.

Remus hadn't wanted anyone to know what he was, until Evryss came along. She accepted him, she _loved_ him, she was a greater friend than Remus had ever thought anyone who knew him could ever be, she was vaguely strange, she was funny, she was as much a wolf as he was, and she had helped him see that no matter how much everybody else didn't like him, she _did_, and that and the fact that he liked himself was all that should matter.

From that fateful Christmas on, Evryss had begun to be nicer to the Marauders (as they called themselves) at the same pace that Remus did. Not once did she ever take off the locket, but she refused to show its contents to James, Sirius, or Peter. Now friends with the three boys, she began to smile sincerely a lot more, and no longer laughed in that fake way that Remus hated. Nope, she'd never let Remus go for a long time, and now that the three that made fun of them the most now thought that they were cute together (with the help of the rather forceful "Lily Evans Way of Persuasion™"), she began to think that it'd be even longer than originally thought. Now that she and Remus were "Pending Marauders", she got along well with a lot more people, and of course he was no longer made fun of because now that "nerdiness" was being put to work in the form of helping his friends with their essays (to the dismay and frustration of one Lily Evans). Now those three boys were helping Evryss with her monthly duties in the form of a rat, a dog, and a stag (they hadn't cared in the slightest about Remus's "condition"). Although their privacy was a lot less frequently attained than it used to be…

Life was good.

_Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there._

_With open arms and open eyes, yeah._

_Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there._

_I'll be there._


End file.
